For the first 24hours after my diagnosis I cried, and cried, and stayed up till 3 am and cried. I eventually fell asleep, and the next day I felt shocked, like 'did this really happen to me, now?' 'Really...2 weeks before Chicago?' I even second guessed myself saying I should have listened to my instincts, and the signs from the Gods to stay in Saturday morning.
Today, I'm pissed, so very angry. I am trying to be strong, but really I'm only 4 days post break, and I think it's ok to be angry! I have worked so hard for this 26.2, and was so excited. I am already missing running with CAR, and this is only day 4!!
This running and my training were my therapy to get over Matt, and how bad he broke my heart. Now, one on the major things that have helped me heal, and made me happy again, has been taken away from me, and for at least 2 months!!
Four- six weeks of a cast and crutches are enough to make me want to scream! I can't drive anywhere because it's my right foot that is casted. I can't do things in my apaprtment without working up a sweat, and it taking an hour..and taking a shower, don't get me started.
My family is 3000 miles away, and I am single. While I have THE MOST AMAZING friends, ( and I am so very grateful for you guys!!!) this would be much easier if I had someone, or family that could stay with me constantly.
So all the demons of being single, that I worked on all summer to get rid of is currently creeping back because I have no one close to me, that can constantly help me.
*sigh, I woke up today realizing the magnitude of healing time. I feel helpless, frustrated, overwhelemed, sad, and my butt hurts from sitting so much!!
I'm an active person, how am I going to do this!?
Wake me up, when October ends.